Mixed Feelings this Easter

I really wasn't sure if I should write this on a public blog, but after realizing that I'm probably the only one reading this (even Becca hasn't read this in a while) I don't think I see any harm. Becca and I went down to my hometown of Cedar Rapids this weekend. Its been about 12 years since I've really been to the city; ever since I left for the Navy. Sure, I've been through a couple times, seen some family, pointed out my old house, but nothing like spending the night here. Well, we decided to go down on Saturday and scope out the bike and run route, and since we were in the 'big' city maybe a little shopping.
I was floored! Cedar Rapids has really gone to pot in my absence. The larger of the two malls had about 90% of its stores closed. Not just for the day, but completely closed. It was actually a little creepy. This was where I used to hang out after college classes. It wasn't just the mall though. The whole town seemed to have aged prematurely. I was sorely dissappointed, and a little embarrassed to show the wife what had become of my once great hometown.
Now the good news. Looking at the route all I have to say is "easy." I knew it wasn't going to be on the same level as Baraboo, but it really looks easy. Mostly flat on the bike with only one real hill to mention. Now, I'll admit that, for me, the hill does look a little intimidating after 14-15 miles, but I don't think its anything that I'll have to really worry about. The run has a couple rollers on it, but its okay up until a gradual hill climb to the finish line. Honestly, the routes look like a cinch, and I'm glad I picked this one as my first.
I suppose I should stop procrastinating and get to where I left the hook. Family is just that. People who share a common thread, standing together against whatever comes. We don't all have to like each other, but generally we tolerate each other for whatever the common good may be. This Easter was like a lunch at the improv...
"Okay...you're a family. You'll be the Gradmother, you the Father, you two the Aunts, the rest of you just fill in when you feel pulled...and ACTION!"
It really all felt like a big act. It took a lot to reign myself in, and not do something that would have ruined everyones' time. I knew there was some stress in the family lately, but I guess I didn't see how much there really was until Easter. Its a shame. It makes me not want to bring my little black sheep portion of the family back again. Oh, I'd never hold my Dad or Grandmother back from seeing Lorelei, or vice versa, but I have really been wondering if she needs to know her extended family (2nd cousins, 1st cousins once removed, great aunts, etc...). Personally, at the moment, I wouldn't have a problem with it. I guess this is why I have a wife. I need her balance me out on these matters, restrain my firey spirit, and smooth over my rough surface. Without Becca and others there I probably would have said or done something I'd have later regretted. Maybe this is why I stay on the periphery of my families. There's enough unstable forces there, no real need for my own brand of chaos.
So mixed feelings. I'm happy to find out that my 1st tri will not only be one I can complete, but I might even do halfway decent at it. I'm a little dissappointed at how Easter turned out this year. (Personally I think Good Friday is the more important to remember. Ask me if you want to know why.) The only thing I wasn't able to do was go see where I lived from 0-2y/o. Maybe next time down.
PS: If anyone else does happen to keep up with my ramblings, leave me a comment and let me know what you think.